Man Travels to Foreign Land

Okay, ladies, back by popular demand is my oh-so handsome and witty husband, sharing his recent shopping experience at Nordstrom.  I have to say, I almost cried laughing reading this, but keep in mind, I offered to help him before he went!! Are your men the same way?! 

_____

Shopping; the stereotype is that men hate shopping, but that’s not exactly true. Drop us in a hunting/fishing/sports equipment store and we’re happier than a pig in you know what; put us on a car lot and we can kill an afternoon no problem. If it involves clothes shopping however, brick walls best beware because I have a head that needs to bang into it.

Now it’s not that I hate all clothes shopping. Remember that hunting/fishing/sports equipment store we dropped in earlier? I can sure find some clothes there all day long.

While I’m no anthropologist, my theory is that the dread that I (and a lot of other men) have toward general clothes shopping in the department store stems from the absolutely horrific and traumatizing experience known as “back-to-school shopping with mom.” The memories of being drug from mall to mall in the height of Houston summers during the 1980’s are still freshly singed in my frontal lobe. Even then, the worst and most challenging part of the quest: finding a freaking pair of pants! The number of jeans that I tried on for mom to approve between the ages of 5 and 14 was just staggering.

Men's dressing at Nordstrom

Her Top •  Her JeansSimilar Booties • Dress Shirt • Similar Tie

For this post, my wife’s directives were as follows: find some shirts (casual and dress), maybe a couple ties, see if you can find some shoes, and get some pants, especially jeans. Of course, she had to say pants! “Do you want me to go with you?” she asked. “Nope, I can do it!” If ever there were four words uttered by someone that were so far off base and completely wrong, I am unaware of it.

Things started off fine, I thought. Knowing that pants, especially jeans, would be the climbing Mount Everest portion of this trip, I opted to start off in the dress shirt and tie area. This strategy would ensure early success that might help carry me through the end of the battle. Right out of the gate I located these shirts which are all Nordstrom brand.

Solid choices I thought and score one for the good guys early on.

Men's dress shirt and tie

 Blue Dress Shirt • Similar Tie

Men's dress shirt and tie Nordstrom

Dress Shirt • Similar Tie

With my confidence swelling, I continued looking around the area and saw the wallets. By now most of you are all familiar with my binder clip wallet system that I have successfully deployed in the field for years.

Megan hates it, she says she doesn’t but I think she really does.  (I really don’t hate it!- M)  So, I thought to myself, “self, here is an opportunity, for what I don’t exactly know, but maybe we should actually give a wallet a try again.” Into the wallets I dove and found this one by Tumi. I have a Tumi briefcase made out of the same material for years now (similar to this one) and it has withstood some pretty rough and tumble outings so it was kind of a no brainer to give this wallet a try.

Men's Tumi Wallet

Wallet

“I’m on a roll,” I thought. Then out of the corner of my eye I saw the cufflinks. Boy do I like me some cufflinks and while these weren’t exactly on her list, once I saw these Darth Vader cufflinks there was no question they were mine. As a Star Wars nerd for my entire life, I truly thought the galaxy had aligned and this was a sure sign this would be the most successful shopping trip ever made by one man.

Darth Vader Cuff Links

Darth Vader Cufflinks

For those keeping score at home at this point I have only secured one, that’s right ONE of the items from her list. I’m certain a combination of adult ADD and subliminal fear of heading to the pants section have caused me to end up with the wallet and the Dark Lord of the Sith.

Unbeknownst to me, an attack by the natives was about to be launched. The section I was in was located adjacent to what I like to call the “lotions and potions” counter. As I rounded one of the shirt tables, a woman jumped out as if this was a haunted house and tried to spray me with her witch’s brew. “No, thanks I’m good,” I told her, keeping my real thoughts to myself.  A few more feet and yet another jumps out, this time with arms extended trying to embalm me with some sort of cream! At this point I am completely off my game and disoriented. I see the suit section, familiar and comforting, so I walked over there to orient and gather myself. There are some nice items here but since I have already deviated from the list, I decide let’s not procrastinate any further.

men's cologne

Ahead of me was the casual clothing section at Nordstrom.  Looking at the clothes and names on racks it quickly became evident some of these were, shall we say, a bit out of my element.  I needed Google translate to help me figure out how to pronounce the names on the tags. This was not a good sign and I had yet to even see a casual pant or jean.  I looked down at my watch and realized I had already been there for over an hour and all I had to show for it was 3 dress shirts, a wallet, some Darth Vader cufflinks and 2 counts of attempted assault by the lotions and potions employees.

As I stood there staring at this mass woven calamity before me a nice young man named Emmanuel came up to me, sans any liquids of wizardry, and asked if I needed some help. Clearly I did, so I took him up on his offer. We talked about what I normally wear and what my “style” was. I laughed and told him that I couldn’t spell style if he spotted me the first four letters. I don’t think he got the joke, but he feigned laughter nonetheless. He quickly pulled me over to the Vineyard Vines rack where I picked up this shirt and this sweater.

Men's gingham shirt and pullover

Gingham Shirt • Pullover

Next, we went over the Nordstrom casual racks and found this little flannel looking number. This guy’s pretty good, I thought to myself, wish I found him from the get go. He could have saved me a ton of time and protected me from the eau de toilette guild.

Men's plaid shirt Nordstrom

Plaid ShirtSimilar Sunglasses • Wranglers

Dad and james shopping at Nordstrom

What about the pants? Well, we tried. Emmanuel gave it his best effort and in a throwback moment to my youth of the mid 80’s, I tried on at least 10 pairs of casual pants and jeans. They were all way too tight and I’m not a dude who does tight pants. I need room to breathe, plus where on earth would I put a cell phone and that new wallet I just got in pants like that?!

I really appreciated Emmanuel’s efforts, but in the end, the pants weren’t happening. He also asked if I needed shoes, but frankly at that point I was so exhausted that I did not have the energy for shoe shopping.  (See honey, shopping is hard work!- M)

While checking out, Emmanuel and I talked about the pants and the shopping experience as a whole. He explained to me that Nordstrom will do alterations so if you can find pants that mostly fit, they can tailor the rest of it to fit you.  He also said you can make appointments to have them help you with your shopping, it’s like shopping for dummies only with a real human who knows what they are doing to help you.

Despite not being able to fulfill Megan’s list, I count this trip as a success! I came away with some Darth Vader cufflinks and an education on how to do it right the next time.  Now, I need a nap!

dad napping (1)

Oh yeah, do I have to say, “shop my look” or something like that now??

 

Yes, ladies, he’s taken.  So sorry to disappoint!  😉 But don’t let him fool you, he loves getting a chance to ham it up! Thanks so much, babe for all your hard work! -M 

If you liked this post, you may enjoy these:

 10 “Man Approved” Gifts for Father’s Day

His Picks from the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale

 

*Affiliate links used in collaboration with Nordstrom.

Share:

64 Comments

  1. October 17, 2017 / 6:00 am

    Best.post.ever. My husband would be exactly the same

  2. Robin
    October 17, 2017 / 6:22 am

    I love your husband – LOL! He is a great writer – you should have more “guest appearances” from him”! It is hear a “man” view on shopping – although you better watch out, you may have another “blogger” in the family!!!

  3. Denise
    October 17, 2017 / 6:27 am

    Ha! This read from your husband’s POV was pure entertainment! I could picture him strolling thru Nordstroms as I was readingand I too was giggling my way thru! Perhaps he should consider a career is Blogging?! Bravo hubby!!

  4. Mireille
    October 17, 2017 / 6:52 am

    What a fun post!

  5. Rachel Steck
    October 17, 2017 / 8:11 am

    You are very good at this blogging thing sir. Good job on the cuff links.

  6. Sharyn
    October 17, 2017 / 8:19 am

    Cute post! Witty hubby!

  7. Bre
    October 17, 2017 / 8:29 am

    You did a great job! Lookin’ good too!

  8. Katie Tripoli
    October 17, 2017 / 8:30 am

    A very entertaining read! Nice job husband!

  9. ashley
    October 17, 2017 / 8:57 am

    You guys make a great team! The men’s fashion really helps me since I don’t have a shopping husband 🙂

  10. October 17, 2017 / 9:03 am

    This is hilarious! I have to admit the lotions and potions crew scares me a bit too.

  11. Pam Al
    October 17, 2017 / 9:09 am

    Way to shop Mr. Megan!! The best guest post I’ve read!! You’ve got bloggin” in your future!!!

  12. Pam
    October 17, 2017 / 9:16 am

    Oh my gosh! It’s a boy thing. I used to think men were lucky that your pants came in lengths and widths but now I see it’s just so many more choices to try on that still don’t fit. My son is 9 and I cannot find pants that fit him. Thankfully we live in Houston where he can where athletic shorts just about all year. I avoid going places he has to wear anything else but athletic shorts. Thank goodness church can be casual. And now you’re telling me it’s never going to get better. No wonder my husband wears his pants until their practically shredded before buying more. Thank goodness I know a good seamstress to hem. I paid $10 for a pair of khakis for a wedding and I’m paying her $10 to hem them for my son.

    • October 17, 2017 / 4:19 pm

      It’s a challenge! My husband wears shorts most of the year too!

  13. Karen
    October 17, 2017 / 9:55 am

    Fun post; he is hilarious and definitely looks leaner ;). I think men are also traumatized from shopping with their significant others and waiting hours for us in the dressing room. My husband must have ordered 30+ pairs of khakis before settling on two pairs. Thank goodness for easy mail returns at BR and Nordstroms.

  14. Dana
    October 17, 2017 / 10:10 am

    I enjoy your blog and instagram posts. However, I love your husbands posts even better.(sorry, he and I have much the same sense of humor) This experience totally reads my husband, except he would have come home with some new smells and shoes in addition to what he needed. Have a good one!

    • October 17, 2017 / 12:59 pm

      He’s never gonna let me live that down! I can hear it now, “Dana likes me better!” Ha!!

  15. Kim
    October 17, 2017 / 10:23 am

    This was awesome! You guys seem to have so much fun together!

  16. Allyson
    October 17, 2017 / 10:25 am

    This put a smile on my face. Thank your husband for sharing his personality with us.

    • October 17, 2017 / 4:18 pm

      Will do! He’s the most likeable person I know!

  17. Jenn
    October 17, 2017 / 10:34 am

    He’s a great writer!

  18. Gina
    October 17, 2017 / 10:39 am

    Hilarious ! You need to give a better warning before people read this. I spit coffee out on my new khakis.

    • October 17, 2017 / 4:18 pm

      Ha!! I know, I was laughing so hard too- I told him it was his best yet!

  19. Southern & Style
    October 17, 2017 / 12:40 pm

    I absolutely love when your husband does posts-they’re always so funny and totally relatable, my sweet husband hates shopping for “normal” clothes!

    xoxo, SS

    Southern and Style

  20. Alison S.
    October 17, 2017 / 1:41 pm

    Megan, your hubby’s posts are always so funny and smart. Loved reading it. I should show it to my husband, who is also in the aversion-to-shopping land. I have trained him well enough that I can buy his work clothes, just dress shirts and dress pants – he doesn’t need ties for everyday wear. But those casual clothes, I can’t get him to shop for that at all!

  21. Terri
    October 17, 2017 / 1:51 pm

    So good!!! My husband also refuses the skinny jeans trend….which I can’t say I’m against. His go to are the standard leg jeans from GAP. They also have a bootcut, athletic, straight, and relaxed options along with those skinny ones. Sounds like some of those are what your hubby prefers too.

  22. Kai
    October 17, 2017 / 2:01 pm

    Hi Meg,
    Let your handsome hubby know it was a great post. I loved it, well written and it’s like a scene from a movie script.

    • October 17, 2017 / 4:17 pm

      He’s a cutie, right?!

  23. Marissa
    October 17, 2017 / 2:14 pm

    Your husband is absolutely HILARIOUS! This was great!

    • October 17, 2017 / 4:17 pm

      Thanks Marissa- I was cracking up too!

  24. Susanna
    October 17, 2017 / 2:36 pm

    That was the funniest thing I read today!! I think he represents most typical dudes I know including my hubby. Hilarious!!

    • October 17, 2017 / 4:16 pm

      I knew he’s not alone! Most guys can relate! But some of my friends’ husband’s (hi Greg & Adam!) looove shopping for clothes and shop more than their wives!

  25. Beth
    October 17, 2017 / 2:57 pm

    Wallets?! No!
    You know what this means? Another post. Have you made his appointment with his personal shopper yet? There are pants to try. I can’t get my husband out of plain old Levis. I’ve given up trying. As always, fun post, but he’ll never be you, Megan.

    • October 17, 2017 / 4:15 pm

      He said he did try pants that Emmanuel recommended, but no luck yet. I think next time they could pull stuff ahead of time so he doesn’t get tired before even trying on! Shopping really can be hard work- I think he gets that now! 😉

      • Beth Blank
        October 18, 2017 / 6:10 am

        Tell him a successful shopper finishes his list! 😉

  26. October 17, 2017 / 3:01 pm

    OMG…Jimmy is hilarious. What a good sport for even ATTEMPTING to shop for your wish list. And yes, something is definitely different…is is definitely leaner as someone else mentioned.

    • October 17, 2017 / 4:13 pm

      He’s going to LOVE these compliments!! He started eating less meat about 2 months ago!

  27. Alice
    October 17, 2017 / 3:14 pm

    Your husband is a keeper!
    My hubs had the same traumatizing childhood apparently. So thanks for helping me see shopping from the male perspective. 🙂

    • October 17, 2017 / 4:12 pm

      I just hope James doesn’t feel the same way! But so far, I haven’t had to drag him clothes shopping- I mostly order online and he tries on at home!

  28. Jennifer K
    October 17, 2017 / 6:30 pm

    Sounds like my hubby, right down to the Darth Vader cuff links. I was out of town last week but hubby needed new jeans. He had to take our 17 yr old daughter with him and then they had to FaceTime me for final approval. The jeans are a lower rise and less roomy fit and he’s not convinced yet he likes them. Thanks for the fun post! 🙂

    • October 17, 2017 / 10:38 pm

      Lucky he had her and FaceTime!! So funny on the cufflinks! At least he found something that really makes him happy!

  29. Jenny
    October 17, 2017 / 9:05 pm

    This was hilarious! I love your husband’s honest account of shopping. I think my husband would totally agree! This was such a fun blog post to read!

  30. Sara
    October 18, 2017 / 5:09 am

    Oh my gosh “lotions and potions”. Like, I literally laughed out loud several times reading this haha, hubby is hilarious and a witty, and a very good writer! You should have him appear more often but it even gets lurkers like me to comment to say how funny it is! 😉 but not too often obviously can’t that’s what makes it special!

    So glad he got those Darth Vader cuff links and Emmanuel helped him out a little haha! Vineyard Vines stuff is a great go-to, hubby loves it as well. Hope he’s enjoying his new wallet!

    Hope he manages to get some pants soon! 😂

  31. October 18, 2017 / 6:06 am

    Ah, so your husband likes to shop at Cabelas too, lol. My husbands idea of fashion is something with a fish, bear or Ohio State on it!

  32. Dawn Scheurich
    October 18, 2017 / 7:37 am

    He is hilarious! He did an excellent job—both writing the post and shopping!! So brave of him to go by himself (and brave of you to not go 😉). Can’t see my husband ever going shopping for clothes by himself unless he didn’t plan to come home and show me😳!

  33. M
    October 18, 2017 / 7:57 am

    Megan,
    Have your husband try Mugsy jeans and let me know what you think. I am not invested. They are very well-reviewed. Check their site and see what you both think.

  34. Rikki
    October 18, 2017 / 10:34 am

    Oh. My. Word. This is priceless! What a fantastic combination of charm, wit and style! #keeper #canweclonehim

  35. Diana Heath
    October 19, 2017 / 7:47 am

    This was hilarious and reminded me a lot of my husband, although he has yet to go to Nordstrom to get clothes. (I’m still trying!). He is the exact same way about pants/jeans. He wants “some room”. haha 🙂

  36. Dawn
    October 19, 2017 / 12:03 pm

    I love to read your posts, but your husband needs to get some more post time as well…he’s hilarious! Great post.

    • October 20, 2017 / 7:52 pm

      Thanks Dawn, he LOVES hearing that, trust me!

  37. mary
    October 21, 2017 / 7:47 am

    Very funny! I laughed out loud a couple times as well…liquids of wizardry is a perfect description

    • October 21, 2017 / 3:43 pm

      So glad you liked it! With this encouragement, I’m hoping to have him back soon!

  38. Kelly W.
    October 23, 2017 / 8:34 am

    This was awesome! I seriously laughed the whole way through. Your husband has a gift for humorous writing, thanks so much for sharing him with us!

  39. Nicole
    October 23, 2017 / 12:17 pm

    Your husband has a great sense of humor. I know they aren’t Nordstrom, but my husband swears by American Eagle jeans. He has a couple of pairs that he calls his “maternity” jeans because they’re so comfortable and stretchy.

    • October 25, 2017 / 8:51 am

      Oh that’s awesome! I need to try those for him!

  40. Michelle
    October 23, 2017 / 8:27 pm

    This is fantastic. As the mom of 3 boys, I can so appreciate this! My husband is also a binder clip “wallet” guy but I was able to find him a nice leather one at a store here in Houston. It looks a little “nicer” than the one from his desk drawer at work!

  41. October 26, 2017 / 5:53 pm

    OMG – this is SO good. First off, I am surrounded by boys. My hubs, a 12 and a 14-year-old. I shop for them all. Then I return what they don’t like. The teen and I have shopped a bit lately and it’s not fun. Shopping for homecoming with a kid that lives in shorts and fishing T’s is not an easy task. Ha! I love that your man was a sport about this.

    • October 26, 2017 / 9:08 pm

      Oh I bet! But I’m sure he dressed up nice for homecoming! Love seeing all the kids all spiffied up!

  42. Rachel
    October 31, 2017 / 3:16 am

    Hey! So did he ever find jeans? We’re sittin over here with the same problem. My husband is so not a skinny jeans guy and can hardly get his thighs and butt through most. It’s endless torture for the both of us!

    • October 31, 2017 / 10:52 am

      Hi Rachel! Not yet, he’s still loving his Wranglers though!

  43. Susie
    November 20, 2017 / 8:41 am

    Great post! My hubby uses a binder clip as well….I’m curious how the wallet transition worked out 😉

    • November 20, 2017 / 1:29 pm

      Oh wow! He has a twin! My hubby likes this wallet so far- he’s still using it!

  44. December 26, 2017 / 5:28 am

    “Darth Vader Cufflinks” I saw this kind of cufflinks the first time and I am trying to find it for my husband but I am not able to can you please help me where I can find that?

    Thank you for this beautiful and informative blog!!

    • December 26, 2017 / 1:47 pm

      If you click the link, it should take you to where to purchase!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *