Man Travels to Foreign Land

Okay, ladies, back by popular demand is my oh-so handsome and witty husband, sharing his recent shopping experience at Nordstrom.  I have to say, I almost cried laughing reading this, but keep in mind, I offered to help him before he went!! Are your men the same way?! 

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Shopping; the stereotype is that men hate shopping, but that’s not exactly true. Drop us in a hunting/fishing/sports equipment store and we’re happier than a pig in you know what; put us on a car lot and we can kill an afternoon no problem. If it involves clothes shopping however, brick walls best beware because I have a head that needs to bang into it.

Now it’s not that I hate all clothes shopping. Remember that hunting/fishing/sports equipment store we dropped in earlier? I can sure find some clothes there all day long.

While I’m no anthropologist, my theory is that the dread that I (and a lot of other men) have toward general clothes shopping in the department store stems from the absolutely horrific and traumatizing experience known as “back-to-school shopping with mom.” The memories of being drug from mall to mall in the height of Houston summers during the 1980’s are still freshly singed in my frontal lobe. Even then, the worst and most challenging part of the quest: finding a freaking pair of pants! The number of jeans that I tried on for mom to approve between the ages of 5 and 14 was just staggering.

Men's dressing at Nordstrom

Her Top •  Her JeansSimilar Booties • Dress Shirt • Similar Tie

For this post, my wife’s directives were as follows: find some shirts (casual and dress), maybe a couple ties, see if you can find some shoes, and get some pants, especially jeans. Of course, she had to say pants! “Do you want me to go with you?” she asked. “Nope, I can do it!” If ever there were four words uttered by someone that were so far off base and completely wrong, I am unaware of it.

Things started off fine, I thought. Knowing that pants, especially jeans, would be the climbing Mount Everest portion of this trip, I opted to start off in the dress shirt and tie area. This strategy would ensure early success that might help carry me through the end of the battle. Right out of the gate I located these shirts which are all Nordstrom brand.

Solid choices I thought and score one for the good guys early on.

Men's dress shirt and tie

 Blue Dress Shirt • Similar Tie

Men's dress shirt and tie Nordstrom

Dress Shirt • Similar Tie

With my confidence swelling, I continued looking around the area and saw the wallets. By now most of you are all familiar with my binder clip wallet system that I have successfully deployed in the field for years.

Megan hates it, she says she doesn’t but I think she really does.  (I really don’t hate it!- M)  So, I thought to myself, “self, here is an opportunity, for what I don’t exactly know, but maybe we should actually give a wallet a try again.” Into the wallets I dove and found this one by Tumi. I have a Tumi briefcase made out of the same material for years now (similar to this one) and it has withstood some pretty rough and tumble outings so it was kind of a no brainer to give this wallet a try.

Men's Tumi Wallet

Wallet

“I’m on a roll,” I thought. Then out of the corner of my eye I saw the cufflinks. Boy do I like me some cufflinks and while these weren’t exactly on her list, once I saw these Darth Vader cufflinks there was no question they were mine. As a Star Wars nerd for my entire life, I truly thought the galaxy had aligned and this was a sure sign this would be the most successful shopping trip ever made by one man.

Darth Vader Cuff Links

Darth Vader Cufflinks

For those keeping score at home at this point I have only secured one, that’s right ONE of the items from her list. I’m certain a combination of adult ADD and subliminal fear of heading to the pants section have caused me to end up with the wallet and the Dark Lord of the Sith.

Unbeknownst to me, an attack by the natives was about to be launched. The section I was in was located adjacent to what I like to call the “lotions and potions” counter. As I rounded one of the shirt tables, a woman jumped out as if this was a haunted house and tried to spray me with her witch’s brew. “No, thanks I’m good,” I told her, keeping my real thoughts to myself.  A few more feet and yet another jumps out, this time with arms extended trying to embalm me with some sort of cream! At this point I am completely off my game and disoriented. I see the suit section, familiar and comforting, so I walked over there to orient and gather myself. There are some nice items here but since I have already deviated from the list, I decide let’s not procrastinate any further.

men's cologne

Ahead of me was the casual clothing section at Nordstrom.  Looking at the clothes and names on racks it quickly became evident some of these were, shall we say, a bit out of my element.  I needed Google translate to help me figure out how to pronounce the names on the tags. This was not a good sign and I had yet to even see a casual pant or jean.  I looked down at my watch and realized I had already been there for over an hour and all I had to show for it was 3 dress shirts, a wallet, some Darth Vader cufflinks and 2 counts of attempted assault by the lotions and potions employees.

As I stood there staring at this mass woven calamity before me a nice young man named Emmanuel came up to me, sans any liquids of wizardry, and asked if I needed some help. Clearly I did, so I took him up on his offer. We talked about what I normally wear and what my “style” was. I laughed and told him that I couldn’t spell style if he spotted me the first four letters. I don’t think he got the joke, but he feigned laughter nonetheless. He quickly pulled me over to the Vineyard Vines rack where I picked up this shirt and this sweater.

Men's gingham shirt and pullover

Gingham Shirt • Pullover

Next, we went over the Nordstrom casual racks and found this little flannel looking number. This guy’s pretty good, I thought to myself, wish I found him from the get go. He could have saved me a ton of time and protected me from the eau de toilette guild.

Men's plaid shirt Nordstrom

Plaid ShirtSimilar Sunglasses • Wranglers

Dad and james shopping at Nordstrom

What about the pants? Well, we tried. Emmanuel gave it his best effort and in a throwback moment to my youth of the mid 80’s, I tried on at least 10 pairs of casual pants and jeans. They were all way too tight and I’m not a dude who does tight pants. I need room to breathe, plus where on earth would I put a cell phone and that new wallet I just got in pants like that?!

I really appreciated Emmanuel’s efforts, but in the end, the pants weren’t happening. He also asked if I needed shoes, but frankly at that point I was so exhausted that I did not have the energy for shoe shopping.  (See honey, shopping is hard work!- M)

While checking out, Emmanuel and I talked about the pants and the shopping experience as a whole. He explained to me that Nordstrom will do alterations so if you can find pants that mostly fit, they can tailor the rest of it to fit you.  He also said you can make appointments to have them help you with your shopping, it’s like shopping for dummies only with a real human who knows what they are doing to help you.

Despite not being able to fulfill Megan’s list, I count this trip as a success! I came away with some Darth Vader cufflinks and an education on how to do it right the next time.  Now, I need a nap!

dad napping (1)

Oh yeah, do I have to say, “shop my look” or something like that now??

 

Yes, ladies, he’s taken.  So sorry to disappoint!  😉 But don’t let him fool you, he loves getting a chance to ham it up! Thanks so much, babe for all your hard work! -M 

If you liked this post, you may enjoy these:

 10 “Man Approved” Gifts for Father’s Day

His Picks from the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale

 

*Affiliate links used in collaboration with Nordstrom.

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Meet Megan

Hi! I’m Megan, mom to a thoughtful teenager and spunky young girl. We call Houston home and recently moved into our dream home. I traded my lawyer hat to become a full-time blogger in 2010. I love sharing my passion for affordable fashion, home decor, organization, & fitness to help inspire you to take care of you!

66 Comments

  1. I love your husband – LOL! He is a great writer – you should have more “guest appearances” from him”! It is hear a “man” view on shopping – although you better watch out, you may have another “blogger” in the family!!!

  2. Ha! This read from your husband’s POV was pure entertainment! I could picture him strolling thru Nordstroms as I was readingand I too was giggling my way thru! Perhaps he should consider a career is Blogging?! Bravo hubby!!

  3. Oh my gosh! It’s a boy thing. I used to think men were lucky that your pants came in lengths and widths but now I see it’s just so many more choices to try on that still don’t fit. My son is 9 and I cannot find pants that fit him. Thankfully we live in Houston where he can where athletic shorts just about all year. I avoid going places he has to wear anything else but athletic shorts. Thank goodness church can be casual. And now you’re telling me it’s never going to get better. No wonder my husband wears his pants until their practically shredded before buying more. Thank goodness I know a good seamstress to hem. I paid $10 for a pair of khakis for a wedding and I’m paying her $10 to hem them for my son.

  4. Fun post; he is hilarious and definitely looks leaner ;). I think men are also traumatized from shopping with their significant others and waiting hours for us in the dressing room. My husband must have ordered 30+ pairs of khakis before settling on two pairs. Thank goodness for easy mail returns at BR and Nordstroms.

  5. I enjoy your blog and instagram posts. However, I love your husbands posts even better.(sorry, he and I have much the same sense of humor) This experience totally reads my husband, except he would have come home with some new smells and shoes in addition to what he needed. Have a good one!

  6. Megan, your hubby’s posts are always so funny and smart. Loved reading it. I should show it to my husband, who is also in the aversion-to-shopping land. I have trained him well enough that I can buy his work clothes, just dress shirts and dress pants – he doesn’t need ties for everyday wear. But those casual clothes, I can’t get him to shop for that at all!

  7. So good!!! My husband also refuses the skinny jeans trend….which I can’t say I’m against. His go to are the standard leg jeans from GAP. They also have a bootcut, athletic, straight, and relaxed options along with those skinny ones. Sounds like some of those are what your hubby prefers too.

  8. Hi Meg,
    Let your handsome hubby know it was a great post. I loved it, well written and it’s like a scene from a movie script.

  9. That was the funniest thing I read today!! I think he represents most typical dudes I know including my hubby. Hilarious!!

    1. I knew he’s not alone! Most guys can relate! But some of my friends’ husband’s (hi Greg & Adam!) looove shopping for clothes and shop more than their wives!

  10. Wallets?! No!
    You know what this means? Another post. Have you made his appointment with his personal shopper yet? There are pants to try. I can’t get my husband out of plain old Levis. I’ve given up trying. As always, fun post, but he’ll never be you, Megan.

    1. He said he did try pants that Emmanuel recommended, but no luck yet. I think next time they could pull stuff ahead of time so he doesn’t get tired before even trying on! Shopping really can be hard work- I think he gets that now! 😉

  11. OMG…Jimmy is hilarious. What a good sport for even ATTEMPTING to shop for your wish list. And yes, something is definitely different…is is definitely leaner as someone else mentioned.

  12. Your husband is a keeper!
    My hubs had the same traumatizing childhood apparently. So thanks for helping me see shopping from the male perspective. 🙂

    1. I just hope James doesn’t feel the same way! But so far, I haven’t had to drag him clothes shopping- I mostly order online and he tries on at home!

  13. Sounds like my hubby, right down to the Darth Vader cuff links. I was out of town last week but hubby needed new jeans. He had to take our 17 yr old daughter with him and then they had to FaceTime me for final approval. The jeans are a lower rise and less roomy fit and he’s not convinced yet he likes them. Thanks for the fun post! 🙂

  14. This was hilarious! I love your husband’s honest account of shopping. I think my husband would totally agree! This was such a fun blog post to read!

  15. Oh my gosh “lotions and potions”. Like, I literally laughed out loud several times reading this haha, hubby is hilarious and a witty, and a very good writer! You should have him appear more often but it even gets lurkers like me to comment to say how funny it is! 😉 but not too often obviously can’t that’s what makes it special!

    So glad he got those Darth Vader cuff links and Emmanuel helped him out a little haha! Vineyard Vines stuff is a great go-to, hubby loves it as well. Hope he’s enjoying his new wallet!

    Hope he manages to get some pants soon! ?

  16. He is hilarious! He did an excellent job—both writing the post and shopping!! So brave of him to go by himself (and brave of you to not go ?). Can’t see my husband ever going shopping for clothes by himself unless he didn’t plan to come home and show me?!

  17. Megan,
    Have your husband try Mugsy jeans and let me know what you think. I am not invested. They are very well-reviewed. Check their site and see what you both think.

  18. This was hilarious and reminded me a lot of my husband, although he has yet to go to Nordstrom to get clothes. (I’m still trying!). He is the exact same way about pants/jeans. He wants “some room”. haha 🙂

  19. This was awesome! I seriously laughed the whole way through. Your husband has a gift for humorous writing, thanks so much for sharing him with us!

  20. Your husband has a great sense of humor. I know they aren’t Nordstrom, but my husband swears by American Eagle jeans. He has a couple of pairs that he calls his “maternity” jeans because they’re so comfortable and stretchy.

  21. This is fantastic. As the mom of 3 boys, I can so appreciate this! My husband is also a binder clip “wallet” guy but I was able to find him a nice leather one at a store here in Houston. It looks a little “nicer” than the one from his desk drawer at work!

  22. OMG – this is SO good. First off, I am surrounded by boys. My hubs, a 12 and a 14-year-old. I shop for them all. Then I return what they don’t like. The teen and I have shopped a bit lately and it’s not fun. Shopping for homecoming with a kid that lives in shorts and fishing T’s is not an easy task. Ha! I love that your man was a sport about this.

  23. Hey! So did he ever find jeans? We’re sittin over here with the same problem. My husband is so not a skinny jeans guy and can hardly get his thighs and butt through most. It’s endless torture for the both of us!

  24. “Darth Vader Cufflinks” I saw this kind of cufflinks the first time and I am trying to find it for my husband but I am not able to can you please help me where I can find that?

    Thank you for this beautiful and informative blog!!

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