Hello friends! Thank God March is over, but now we’re into April and it’s looking like more of the same for the near future. Our shelter in place order was extended yesterday to the end of April with school closed until May 4. ?Before that, I briefly considered heading to my friend’s lake house since it’s sitting empty, but, ultimately decided it’s not the right time, so we stayed put.
Instead, this is us, on day whatever . . . James is eating Doritos for breakfast and Jordan refuses to take off her construction goggles. Mama lost count on her coffee consumption.
HOW TO DEAL WITH OUR NEW NORMAL
But you know what, it’s all good. We are safe and sound and we are SURVIVORS. We’ve gotten through hard times before and we will get through this. I listened to an amazing podcast by Dr. Henry Cloud and felt like it offered some much needed perspective on all of this and I’m going to recap it here in case it helps you too.
Before we get into how to deal, let’s first recognize what has happened to us and our nation and why we’re feeling the way we’re feeling.
OUR CONNECTIONS ARE DISRUPTED
We are being forced to isolate ourselves and when we’re emotionally disconnected, we don’t do well as people. Think about all the times in your day that you are used to seeing or socializing with people – from your coffee shop, to work, restaurants, and then sporting events, group activities, exercise classes. All of that is gone now. It’s just you and Old Fred and the kids. #blessyou
OUR STRUCTURE AND ROUTINES ARE DISRUPTED
A crisis changes our daily lives and interrupts our routines and patterns. We depend on our schedules to go about our day and make us feel normal. YESSS to this. This is partly what’s messing with me so much.
FEAR SETS IN
Being afraid puts us in a fight or flight mode, causing us to be anxious, reactive, irritable, stressed, and depressed. I have felt all of those emotions in the last few weeks.
YOU LOSE YOUR SENSE OF CONTROL
This is a big one too. You feel like you can’t do anything about what’s happened, especially when you are forced to stay home and stop gathering and can’t go to work or send your kids to school.
Our choices have been taken away right now and we feel imprisoned. We’ve lost control of our lives, our goals and gifts because we cannot live our lives the way we are used to living them. That can easily cause us to become depressed.
YOU FEEL INCOMPETENT
It’s hard to feel competent in your daily life when the live you are used to living has been so disrupted. I can totally relate to this. I’ve been so “off” lately, and it’s made me feel so yucky.
WHAT YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT
Now let’s talk about what we can do with all of this change to our lives. We need to rebuild our lives in a new way right now. It’s finally dawning on me that I need to “accept” this new normal, instead of resisting it or saying for the 10-millionth time, “I can’t believe this is happening.”
Now you ‘name it’ and realize “yes, that’s why I’m feeling so . . . . (insert any and every emotion you’ve been experiencing these last few weeks). Look at everything that’s changed and how it’s affecting you. Just acknowledging it has huge healing powers.
CONNECT WITH OTHERS IN A NEW WAY
If you live with someone, connect with them. Oh hi, Old Fred! Sit and have conversations, ask the vulnerable questions. Make daily time to connect via phone with those that you feel the best with. My friends Karen and Audrey will go deep with me in a second.
My brother will make me laugh and send me funny memes. I need all of that right now. I’ve been using Google Duo to video call my mom and the kids really appreciate it.
I’m on a group text with all the Moms at my school and we share info, laughs, homework questions and just general girl things! It’s so great to keep that going!
The kids have Zoom school conference calls and that has also been fun to see- especially Jordan’s preschool class. James still loves playing video games online with his school friends and is happy connecting that way.
Ali-Shaun and I are setting up a Zoom ladies’ wine night too.
We need it!! We need connection!
You can also spend time in prayer and connect with God. He’s always there.
KEEP A DAILY ROUTINE
Things as simple as work time, play time, exercise, family dinner. The key here is just to avoid the “big blank, lost at sea feeling.”
Yes, there is a time for schedules going out the window, but we don’t feel as grounded when there is zero plan for the day. Kids especially need some consistency. It’s like when a kid (or you) plays hookey. The first few hours are awesome, after that, not as much.
And day after day with no routine makes me feel like crazy town.
LIMIT NEWS WATCHING
It’s also important to stay informed by going to fact based trusted voices, but not stay glued to the tv, internet or other media that’s just going to make you more anxious. I mentioned before, but I get my news early in the morning and then again in the evening.
I may talk to friends or my mom about it during the day, but rarely go for more news because it’s just too much.
CONTROL WHAT YOU CAN AND SURRENDER THE REST
List the things that you as an individual cannot control and surrender those things. My grandma Nola was so good at that. She could literally just make up her mind that she wasn’t going to worry about something that she couldn’t control. And then she didn’t.
But there are things each of us can control :
- taking necessary precautions to avoid the virus
- stay home, social distance, wash your hands often and don’t touch your face
- disinfect things
- practice good hygiene and disinfecting
- take control of your health in your own life and at home
- with more time, catch up on things you haven’t had time to do
- read more or learn a new skill online
- create that household budget you’ve been meaning to set up
- clean and organize #yay!!!
- express your competency somewhere else
If you’re like me, you just want things back to “normal” but we’re in this (together!) for the long haul, so we have to make the best of it! I hope this blessed you!
JUST THE BEST SALES
Every Wednesday, I scour the internet to bring you great deals on things you might love, want or need. Here’s what I found this week!
Swing Dress (50% off with code SPRING) • Nude Wedge Sandals
HUGE NORDSTROM SALE
I can’t stay away from the big Nordstrom Spring sale with prices up to 40% off!
This basic pocket tank comes in three colors and it the perfect Summer staple
The Perfect Henley Tunic is now 40% off and comes in 6 different colors, although I’m partial to pink. The style has rollback sleeves and long enough for leggings!
Havaianas flip flops are great for summer. I swear by them, only $19!
These wedge sandals are similar to the pair I wore in the latest Dressing Room post – 35% off
A favorite Gibson off shoulder sweatshirt – 40% off
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More Nordstrom favorites now on sale include,
Barefoot Dreams Hooded Cardigan
T3 Curling Iron • T3 Hairdryer • T3 Round Brush
GAP – 40% off everything with code: 2DAYS and an additional 20% with code: DEAL, so much coziness available like these waffle knit joggers
Need some good basic tees? At JCrew Factory buy one tee, get one free. Stock up or crewneck, v-neck, or scoop neck options!
Abercrombie – up to 50% off sale on select items. These slides are too cute to pass up! Now 30% off!
American Eagle – 50% off styles. So many great prices on denim right now. These high waisted crop jeggings are so cute with the cuffed hem.
shop by clicking the photos below
*If you’re reading this in an email, you’ll have to click through to my blog to view the photos.
March ♥ Loves ♥ Winner
I’m so excited to announce the March Loves winner, Erin, who subscribed to my blog in 2012! Thank you for being here so long Erin!
Romper Coverup • Nail Polish • Bunny Wreath • Air Pods • Stud Sandals • Jumpsuit • Beaded Bracelet • Sleep Bras
As a THANK YOU for reading and subscribing to my blog, every month this year, I’m giving away EVERYTHING in my monthly Loves. If you’re not subscribed, you can sign up here, and I will pick a winner at random and announce at the end of the month!
Congratulations to the previous Loves Winners!
December Loves Deborah in South Carolina
January Loves Felicia in Alabama
February Loves Emily in Illinois
I’ll have April Loves up soon and can’t wait to see who wins that one!
Have a fantastic day friends!
Hopefully. We’ll return in normal Life sono, in the meaning I tend to have a day Plan with some Activity plus have WhatsApp ti stay connected with Friends helps
What a great post! Thank you!
You know, I dread going to work in healthcare every day right now, touching body parts all day, up close and personal, the precautions, the disinfecting and washing, our hours being slashed…but at least I’m out of the house every day. I can’t imagine how challenging it must be to be shut up in the house and trying to keep kids entertained. So glad mine are grown right now!
I keep relating the feelings and anxiety I have currently to my post-Harvey flood days…but at least with that there was an end in sight and progress shown as we tackled each process and project of recovery and remodeling our home. Same with post 9/11, it was horrific and tragic yet isolated…but the COVID-19 is different. It effects ALL of us and we never know where it will show up or when it will end.
I think all you moms staying home are doing a terrific job and please don’t beat yourself up if some days are off and a mess! We are all just trying to keep it together.
So much of what you said resonates with me, as I’m a breast cancer survivor of 18 months. So much of it is really the same. If I can survive that, I’ll do fine in this. Just have to wait it out. Stay safe!