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Sunday, March 29, 2015

Big Hugs & Motorcycles

With a grateful heart, I have read every message and comment you've left, sympathizing with me over the loss of my Dad.  It was a long, hard fight and he did us proud.  So many of you have also lost a parent or other family member and I'm struck by how much the same our pain is, no matter where in the world we are, or what our life circumstances.  We can relate to each other through the life experiences that we share.  I actually thought twice about sharing that my Dad died.  I know most people read blogs for inspiration and pretty things, but such a monumental life event will shape me  forever and therefore, my blog that reflects me.


That so many people who don't even know me (and those that do), took time out of their day to send a sweet word really touched me.  The outpouring of love and support has been strongly felt and graciously received.  I don't mind admitting that I needed it.  It makes me so glad I didn't shut you out.  And I thank you so very much for your own heart tugs over our loss. 

My best friend drove 3 hours to stay with me this weekend and her medicine is the best kind. The flowers we've received are gorgeous and so thoughtful. We won't do a formal service, but plan to do something intimate and special this summer to honor our Dad and his memory.  Of course, life goes on and I'm actually thankful for the diversion.  There's no "relief" from losing someone, but I can say there is comfort in knowing they aren't suffering and that the love you shared was acknowledged with nothing left unsaid or unfinished.  

Our son started t-ball this weekend and seeing all those adorable little boys and girls all dressed up in their uniforms for the first time, amped up and ready to play ball was so fun that I can't help but think to myself, "life is good."  Seeing the little cousins laugh and play is also good for the soul. 


After the 8am t-ball game, we went out to breakfast.  The parking lot was completely empty when we arrived, but after we finished and headed outside, I noticed a whole row of motorcycles parked just in front of car.  My Dad loved to ride and I can't help but choose to believe that those motorcycles on that Saturday morning were a sign from him.  How cool is that?!  Do you get those same kinds of signs?  I'd be honored to know. 

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23 comments:

  1. On the one year anniversary of my dad's death, my mother and I visited Myrtle Beach which was a special place to him b/c he loved to golf. When we were checking in at the hotel, the car in front of us had a license plate that was my dad's initials....just those three letters. I truly believe things like your motorcycles are our angel's way of telling us they are ok.

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    1. Oh my gosh, how wonderful! I agree, I'm so glad to get this sign. It helped me breath easier the whole day.

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  2. I lost my dad 6 years ago after a short, but hard-fought battle with cancer. I unexpectedly lost my 48-year old husband of 23 years to a heart attack in August. Focus, focus, focus on the good times. And yes, those little "signs" happen - especially if you allow yourself to connect to them. I actually had one this morning over something my husband and I had an ongoing joke about. I really felt as though he was there making me laugh instead of cry, which I've done a lot of over the past 7 months. Thank you for sharing your feelings. Very sorry about your father. I will pray for you and your family. God bless.

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    1. My Dad was young too and I feel he is missing out on so much not being here. I will accept the signs wholeheartedly. I'm glad you hear you got a laugh today from your husband. We need to embrace all of our emotions for healing. It's okay and good! to get to smile. Thank you so much for your prayers. Praying for you too. Maybe our guys are all hanging out together in Heaven! ;)

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  3. Continue to keep you and the family in prayer sweet girl! And yes, I am sure the entire parade of motorcycles was your dad's doing!! It was a "I'm doing fine baby girl" sign. My oldest and I attended a funeral for a life taken way too soon a few months back. Josh was a fellow high school cheerleader of my daughter's and also attended the same university she did. He was just 24. After the service his parents requested we launch 100s of beautiful bright vibrant colored balloons in his honor. As the balloons formed in the beautiful overcast sky, making them all the more visible, an upside down J formed. J for Josh, upside down because he was an accomplished gymnast and cheerleader. A sign he was okay. Love you girl!

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    1. Hi Lauren, you've been such a good friend and I know your heart aches for me and my family. I remember your recent loss too. I just started crying reading about the balloons and upside down J! That is so awesome that you all got to witness that, what a gift! My youngest brother is only a few years older than Josh. My heart breaks for those young guys.

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  4. Hi Meagan: Big hugs to you as you go through this difficult time! You will always have a lifetime of wonderful memories and I can promise you as time goes by the pain lessons and the happy memories push through....I know this from losing my dad at the age of 18. I have been following you for over a year now and I can honestly tell you, that you inspire me daily! I so enjoy reading your blog! Don't ever change! You are a wonderful human being. God Bless you and your family. Hugs from Canada! Leslie :)

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    1. Oh Leslie, you were so young! My best friend that came to visit this weekend is from Canada! Good things are from that country! :) Thank you so much for writing.

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  5. So sorry for your loss, Megan- I know you had posted about your dad having a rough time over the Christmas holidays. I hope he is finally out of pain and at peace. My Popo was a baseball player and lived for the St. Louis Cardinals- so cardinals have always been my sign for him. We don't see too many of them here in Houston often, so when I do get one whether it's one in passing or on the t-shirt of one of my students, it's definitely a little hello from Po. One took up residence in my backyard after the new year and I saw him often. Then some blue jay showed up and he was gone for a while. Friday was the 6 year anniversary of his passing and on Thursday evening, my little cardinal came back to sit by our pool.
    Always look for those little hellos from your dad- it makes you focus on all the good times you had and helps ease the sadness. Best wishes!

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    1. Yes, I kept things relatively private but such a big thing going on in my life the past couple years has been hard. You're in Houston too! I'll be thinking of you and your Popo when I see a Cardinal now too. Thanks for taking the time to write and share with me.

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  6. I absolutely see signs like this, and I think it's so special that this one was sent to you. As you go through hard times, I hope that you can draw on your memories and signs like this.

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    1. Yes, and this sign was sent in such a big way! Made me smile that morning.

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  7. My father passed after a hard fought battle with cancer right after my oldest son was born. About 6 months later I had the most vivid dream about him. I was crying in it and so upset and he was so calm and peaceful. He said he didn't understand why I was so upset when I was going to see him again in just a little bit. Obviously, I didn't take it as though it were a premonition about some impending doom, but more that time where he was didn't mean the same as it does here on Earth. We would be together again one day and it would be as though we were never separated. Peace to you and your family. May your shared love bring you comfort and healing.

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    1. Oh Leigh, I'm so sorry your son didn't get more time with your Dad. That's one of the hardest things about losing a parent. My Dad adored his grandchildren and they will miss him. But how lovely of your Dad to send you such peace through a dream. I do feel we will be reunited again and take comfort in that.

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  8. Dear Megan, I am so very sorry for your loss. No words can make your pain less, but hopefully knowing that tons of people are sending you light, love, and prayers helps to ease the pain a little. I have lost a couple of super special people in my life, and I believe if and when you are open to signs you will see them all around you all the time, specially when you need them most. Enjoy and take comfort in the little "visits" / "check-in" / "reminders" from your Dad. Prayers to you and your family from across the ocean in South Africa

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    1. Kammi, you are so right. People like you sending love and light has helped tremendously. I was surprised how much I got out of it. When I first posted on Instagram about losing my Dad, I sat and cried as I read the sweet comments come in. And I've read them over and over. I will always know how much a kind word can mean and I plan to always pay it forward throughout the rest of my life. Thank you Kammi for writing too. And all the way from South Africa! I'd love to get to hear your voice in person! :)

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    2. :) I also find accents / dialects interesting ... I sent you a little hello via Instagram (DM) to say hi.

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  9. I am so sorry for your loss. I love the ideas of signs. When my grandpa passed away a few years ago, my family members and I began to see pennies on the ground. We are spread out between a few states and cities, but each one of us has found a penny, if not multiple, since he passed. It was a great comfort to think that he was leaving these for us to let us know that he was with us. It has been two and a half years and I still continue to find a penny here and there. It always makes me think of him and smile because I know he is still with me and looking down over us all. I hope that you and your family find comfort in these small signs.

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    1. Hi Emily! How beautiful is that?! Pennies were also a sign from my Dad's dad (my grandpa) when he passed. I absolutely believe in those signs and am so grateful for them.

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  10. Again I am so sorry for your loss and have been praying for you and your family! I started following your blog honey were healthy after I had my 4th and just needed some motivation. This was the first blog I have ever followed. That blog led me to this one that I check all the time. Times when I'm stuck at him with sick babies or just having a rough day, your posts always brighten things up for us! You do tons for women out there just by sharing your love of life and blogging with us. It's our turn to be there for you! Big hugs and tons of prayers! If you lived down in New Orleans by me, I'd give you a big hug! Take care my friend!

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    1. I sincerely thank you Vivian! I love hearing that you enjoy my fitness blog. I always miss it so much when I don't have time to post there. But, I do plan to continue to post there! Getting back to blogging will be good for me. I don't know how you do it with four kids! That you have time to read my blog is an honor, because I know with all you have going on, your time for yourself is surely limited. I do hope you are able to carve out some "you" time because we all need it for our own sake and sanity. You aren't far from me either. I have a special place for people from LA since that's where my hubby is from!

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  11. Megan, I'm so sorry for your loss, and I want to thank you for deciding to share about it. “I know most people read blogs for inspiration and pretty things” - sharing your experience and being so open is inspiring and beautiful!
    Losing a parent is so difficult - when I lost my dad to a heart attack almost 6 years ago, my husband and I were trying to get pregnant. All I could think when I was grieving was “I wish we could have had more time so he could meet his grandchild.” Then I looked at my younger sister, who was still single at the time, and I realized I was so lucky to have my dad walk me down the aisle at my wedding, something she would now never get to experience. It shifted my focus from what I had lost to instead treasuring the moments that we did have.
    I love the story about the motorcycles, and I hope that you continue to see signs of your dad all around you. I definitely see my dad in ordinary things - funnily enough, when we used to talk on the phone to catch up, his FAVORITE expression was “life is good”. Seeing those words in your blog today made me smile. :)

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  12. I am so sorry for you loss ! dads rock but now yours will watch over you and your family from heaven ! Yes I believe in signs! when my Nonna passed away ( who fed outdoor cats all the time) .......I sat at my kitchen island eating lunch and looked out my sliding doors, and there was a cat I had never seen staring back at me ! for 2 days this went on , I finally got on my knees and told the cat if he was here to let me know she was ok, then thanks, and tell her I love her. ( slightly crazy moment ) and the cat never came back ! I felt it was a sign !

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